Category: Life Things

Ashley’s Mom-Approved List: Supporting Small, Female-Owned & Family-Friendly Brands

The Ashley RhapsodyLeave a comment

As a mom, I know how important it is to find products that are safe, sustainable, and thoughtfully made. That’s why I’m so excited to introduce Ashley’s Mom-Approved List—a curated selection of local, female-owned brands that I truly love. When you see the pink tick mark in-store, you’ll know that the product meets my standards for quality, sustainability, and supporting incredible women-led businesses.

For my first feature, I’m highlighting two small businesses that check all the boxes: Hunni’s and 6th Scent Candles.

Hunni’s – Feel-Good Fashion for Moms & More

Founded in 2004 by twin sisters Christie and Danielle Honeyford, Hunni’s has been bringing stylish, feel-good fashion to Langley for 20 years. With locations in Langley and Chilliwack, it’s a go-to boutique for pieces that are trendy, wearable, and perfect for busy moms who still want to look put-together.

Why I Love Shopping at Hunni’s

The staff at Hunni’s make every shopping experience a joy. They’re helpful without being pushy, giving you space to browse while still being available if you need advice. As someone who is a curvier girl (size 14-16), I appreciate that Hunni’s always has cute outfits that fit well and make me feel confident.

Mom-Approved Picks from Hunni’s

✔️ Miller Cuff Denim – These jeans are basically the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants in real life. They’re insanely comfortable, fit like a dream, and are guaranteed to be the comfiest jeans you’ll ever put on your body.

✔️ Rudy Dress – Flowy, flattering, and mom-friendly. It has plenty of room in the bust (because we know that matters!), pockets (yes, actual functional pockets!), and is a wardrobe staple for school drop-offs, brunch dates, and everything in between.

✔️ Cosmo Cardi – I affectionately call this my “Ms. Frizzle Cardi”, and it delights me every time I put it on. It’s cozy, colorful, and has just the right amount of whimsical charm to make every outfit feel a little more fun.

✔️ Ziggy Pants – Effortless, chic, and comfy. These pants look polished but feel like pajamas—so basically, they’re magic.

Bonus? Hunni’s also carries 6th Scent Candles, so you can shop both brands in one stop!

6th Scent Candles – Thoughtfully Made Scents for Your Home

Founded in 2016 by Al and her husband Tom, 6th Scent Candles is a soy candle company based in Langley, BC. Their passion is creating beautiful, non-toxic scents that make your home feel cozy and inviting.

Why I Love 6th Scent Candles

The scents from 6th Scent Candles are fresh without being overpowering, making them perfect for every room in the house. Plus, since they’re made responsibly with non-toxic ingredients, I feel good about burning them around my family, especially my daughter.

Mom-Approved Picks from 6th Scent Candles

✔️ White Tea & Ginger Candle – Light, fresh, and spa-like. Perfect for turning your home into a peaceful retreat.

✔️ Car Air Fresheners – Because let’s be real, between snacks, sports gear, and random surprises from the kids, the car needs a refresh.

✔️ Reed Diffuser (Watermelon Lemon) – A flame-free way to keep your house smelling amazing, which is a must when you’ve got little ones running around.

You can find 6th Scent Candles online, at Willowbrook Mall, and at Hunni’s!

Why These Brands Are on Ashley’s Mom-Approved List

✅ Locally Made – Supporting businesses in our community.
✅ Female-Owned – Uplifting incredible women-led brands.
✅ Good for You & Your Family – Safe, sustainable, and thoughtfully made.

Look for the pink tick mark in stores to find my top picks! I’m so excited to continue building Ashley’s Mom-Approved List and sharing more incredible small businesses with you.

Join the Conversation!

Have you shopped at Hunni’s or tried 6th Scent Candles? I’d love to hear about your favorite finds! Drop a comment below or tag me on Instagram @theashleyrhapsody. Let’s celebrate the incredible women behind these businesses together!

Follow me on Instagram: @theashleyrhapsody
Follow Hunni’s: @shophunnis
Follow 6th Scent Candles: @6thscentcandle

A Day Trip to Remember: Exploring the Sea to Sky Highway in the Ford F-150 Lightning

The Ashley RhapsodyLeave a comment

There’s something about driving the Sea to Sky Highway that never gets old. No matter how many times I make the trip, the winding roads, the mountain views, and the salty ocean air make it feel like an adventure every time.

So when we had the chance to take the all-electric Ford F-150 Lightning on a little day- trip to Shannon Falls, I couldn’t pass it up. A day spent exploring the great outdoors, coffee in hand, with the smooth, quiet drive of an electric truck? Sign me up.

First Impressions: The Future of Trucks is Here

Before hitting the road, I had to take a moment to check out all the F-150 Lightning’s features—and trust me, there are plenty. One of my favorite things? The front trunk (or as Ford calls it, the “frunk”). Instead of an engine under the hood, there’s extra storage, making it the perfect place to stash our bags for easy access. A quick press of a button, and the trunk pops open effortlessly.

Inside, starting the truck was just as seamless—push-button start, a massive touchscreen, and the kind of quiet you don’t expect from a pickup. Once we were on the road, it was smooth sailing all the way to Squamish.

Shannon Falls: The Perfect Day Trip Stop

A stop at Shannon Falls is a must on any Sea to Sky road trip. As soon as we parked, the kids took off running toward the falls, excited to explore. The view never disappoints—cascading water, lush greenery, and that fresh mountain air that instantly makes you feel more relaxed.

And while most people think of trucks for hauling gear or moving things, the F-150 Lightning turned out to be the perfect spot for a quick lunch break. The spacious truck bed became our little picnic area, proving that a pickup can be just as great for relaxing as it is for heavy lifting.

After fueling up, we headed into Squamish for a coffee stop before making our way to a nearby charging station.

Charging Made Easy with the Ford Power Promise

One of the biggest concerns people have about switching to an electric vehicle is charging. But with Ford’s Power Promise, it’s easier than ever to make the switch.

For a limited time, Ford is offering a complimentary home charger and standard installation with the purchase or lease of an eligible new Ford Mustang Mach-E, F-150 Lightning, or E-Transit electric vehicle. That means more convenience and serious savings compared to filling up with gas.

Other perks of the Ford Power Promise include:
✅ 24/7 live support, including charging assistance
✅ Access to the BlueOval™ Charge Network, so you can charge on the go
✅ An 8-year/160,000-km battery warranty for extra peace of mind

We found a charging station conveniently located right outside a cute park, so while the truck charged, the kids got to play—a total win-win.

This promotion is only available until March 31, so if you’ve been thinking about going electric, now might be the perfect time.

The Drive Home: A Reminder of Why We Love Where We Live

With the truck charged up and our coffee in hand, we made our way back home, taking in one last look at the Sea to Sky Highway’s breathtaking views. The drive was quiet, smooth, and best of all—zero emissions.

This trip was the perfect reminder of how lucky we are to live in BC, surrounded by mountains, waterfalls, and endless opportunities to explore.

Where’s a drive that never gets old for you? Let me know in the comments—I’m always looking for new places to explore.

Getting Your Child Ready (Emotionally & Practically) for Back-to-School: A Parent’s Guide

The Ashley RhapsodyLeave a comment

As the summer sun begins to set and the school bells start to chime, parents find themselves in the midst of back-to-school preparations once again. With a wealth of experience in the world of education, having worked as an Education Assistant for six years and working in ministry with children across the world for nearly two decades, I understand the importance of not just the academic aspect but also the emotional readiness for the upcoming school year. This blog aims to provide you with valuable insights and tips to ensure that your child not only excels academically but also embarks on this journey with emotional resilience and enthusiasm.

1. Establish a Pre-School Routine

One of the most effective ways to help your child prepare for the transition back to school is by gradually reintroducing routines into their daily life. During the summer break, schedules often become more relaxed, and bedtimes might shift. Start implementing a consistent routine a couple of weeks before school begins. Gradually adjust bedtimes, meal schedules, and other daily activities to align with the school routine. This will help your child’s body and mind adapt smoothly to the changes and reduce the shock of suddenly having to wake up early for school.

2. Connect with Teachers and School Staff

Building a positive relationship between your child and their teachers is crucial for their emotional well-being in the classroom. Before the school year starts, reach out to your child’s teachers to discuss any specific needs or concerns your child might have. This could include information about learning styles, social preferences, or any challenges they faced in the previous school year. When teachers are aware of your child’s unique needs, they can provide appropriate support and create a more inclusive classroom environment.

3. Engage in Conversations

Encourage open conversations with your child about their feelings regarding the upcoming school year. Ask them about their expectations, hopes, and any worries they might have. Listen attentively and validate their emotions. Reassure them that it’s normal to feel a mix of excitement and nervousness before starting school. Sharing your own positive experiences from your school days can help ease their worries and make them feel more connected to you.

Back-to-School Shopping with Metropolis at Metrotown: Where Style Meets Community Support

Back-to-school shopping isn’t just about finding the latest trends and supplies; it’s also an opportunity to give back to the community while preparing for the academic year ahead. Metropolis at Metrotown, BC’s largest shopping centre, has brought together shopping convenience and community support in a unique and inspiring way.

From now until September 4, Metropolis at Metrotown is hosting the “Spend & Get” shopping incentive. When you spend $275 on back-to-school essentials, you’ll receive a $25 gift certificate to Metropolis at Metrotown and a free lunch box. Even more heartwarming, for every “Spend & Get” redemption, $2 will be donated to Coats for Kids, a charitable program by the Rotary Club of Burnaby Metrotown. This initiative not only helps you prepare for the school year but also contributes to a worthy cause.

Visitors to Metropolis at Metrotown also have a chance to win big! Until September 4, you can enter to win a $500 gift certificate by scanning the contest QR code located at the captivating back-to-school art exhibit. This exhibit, displayed in the Grand Court, features Instagram-worthy sculptures made from colorful back-to-school materials. It’s not just shopping; it’s an artistic experience that resonates with the essence of the back-to-school season.

The back-to-school excitement at Metropolis at Metrotown runs through September 10, 2023. With its vast array of over 330 stores, convenient Skytrain access, and free parking, the shopping centre provides everything you need for a successful back-to-school shopping spree. Plan your visit to explore the variety of stores, enjoy the art exhibit, and make your contribution to the community through your shopping.

As the new school year approaches, take the time to prepare your child emotionally for the journey ahead. Combine this with a memorable back-to-school shopping experience at Metropolis at Metrotown, where style meets community support. Together, let’s make this transition a positive and inspiring one for both you and your child.

To learn more about the back-to-school shopping experience and events at Metropolis at Metrotown, please visit www.metropolisatmetrotown.com

“Just wait…”

The Ashley Rhapsody13 Comments

“Just wait…” and other horrendous things people say to pregnant women

Pregnancy has acquainted me with a phrase I have grown to hate: “just wait!” 

Let me take you back a few steps so you can understand why this simple phrase makes my stomach turn. 

Before becoming pregnant, and I’d say even going back to when I was a child, I absolutely feared pregnancy and childbirth. I used to tell my parents that if I was to ever have a child it would be through adoption because there was no way I was letting THAT happen to my body. 

When I began exploring careers based around childcare my fear only intensified, not because of the children themselves but because of the ongoing exposure I often had to pregnant women. I heard all the horror stories.

Oh the ripping… and the tearing… and the leaking… 

It was all too much for me, and I came to the resolve that if my destiny was to always be “fun Auntie Ashley,” I’d be alright with it. 

Then of course I fell madly in love, got married, and here I am, 38 weeks pregnant.   

Boundaries and other things people love. 

I have had to set up some serious boundaries around my pregnancy, and not the boundaries I expected I’d have to put up. I thought my biggest struggle would be people giving me unsolicited touches in the grocery store, and though that has happened once or twice, it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as people’s traumatic story-telling inclinations. Any woman who has ever had a negative pregnancy or birthing experience merely has to gaze upon my swollen belly, and all of a sudden I’m sitting front row for the re-telling of their birthing story. Instead of flicking hands away from my belly button, I have found myself stopping women (and sometimes men) mid-sentence to say, “I’m sorry, maybe this is a better story for me to hear after baby comes.” 

Here’s where the “just wait…” comes in. 

I have been working very hard to keep myself in a positive space about pregnancy and birth (hynobirthing is hugely to thank, but more on that later) but I have noticed a pattern develop. 

Whenever I am asked, “how are you feeling?” (or any variation of that) and I respond positively, the response is almost immediately receive is, “well, just wait…”

Person: “How are you liking maternity clothes?” 

Ashley: “Great! Stretchy and comfortable; I’m thinking about transitioning to maternity pants full time.”

Person: “Well, JUST WAIT until you’re further along; you’ll be sick of them.”

 

Person: “Being pregnant in the summer is the WORST.” 

Ashley: “Oh, it’s actually not that bad. We have air conditioning, so I’ve been more than comfortable.”

Person: “Well, JUST WAIT until it gets hotter and you get more pregnant. You’ll swell up and it’ll be awful.” 

 

Person: “How are you sleeping?”

Ashley: “Pretty good. I’m on summer vacation so if I need to nap, I take one. It’s awesome.” 

Person: “Well, JUST WAIT until you have a newborn. You’ll never sleep again.”

 

Person: “What’s your birth plan?” 

Ashley: “I’m hoping to try natural, and see how we do.”

Person: “Well, JUST WAIT until you’re begging for an epidural, because you know it hurts right?” 

Needless to say I avoid talking pregnancy and childbirth with a lot of people because it’s depressing AF. 

I’m a “7” on the Enneagram; don’t hate me because I’m a positive enthusiastIMG_0669.jpg

I am not delusional ; I understand things can be challenging. I also understand I have had a unique experience in that becoming pregnant was not a struggle, and my pregnancy itself has been pretty peaceful. But I don’t think these factors make my experience any less valuable, or un-shareable. I don’t want to live my life in an “Eeyore” state of mind: “it’s not raining now, but it will some day soon.”

I know things aren’t always easy, but I kind of wish more people could have leaned towards the positive side of the “just waits…”

 

Ashley: “I felt the baby kick!”

Person: “Well just wait until you look at her for the first time!” 

 

Ashley: “I’m trying to be positive about childbirth”

Person: “Well just wait until you see what your body can do; it’s amazing!”

 

Ashley: “I think my pregnant body is adorable!”

Person: ”Well just wait until you see all of the beautifully weird and wonderful things it does to sustain your baby; it’s a miracle!” 

 

Just wait until you see how beautiful all of this life is. Just wait for the joy, the excitement, the giggles, and the new adventures. Just wait! 

SO in celebration of our due date nearing, and soon getting to meet our little bundle, I’d love to hear your POSITIVE “Just Waits…” 

Let me have it. 

February: Gentle Eating Rules for the Month

The Ashley Rhapsody2 Comments

Ecological Footprint: 1.9 earths (down from 2.3 in January), 19.3 hectares (down from 20.3 in January) 

I eat animals. 

I LOVE sushi, a good charcuterie board, and a breakfast platter adorned in animal products. 

I have also proclaimed several times in my life that if I were to ever discover I was lactose intolerant, there would be no need for me to go on. If I can’t partake in a hearty cheese board, what is life really about anyway? 

Here’s the kicker: I really love animals. I can not even watch a movie where trouble or harm befalls an animal. I can watch a movie where the entire human cast dies, and not miss a beat, but a dog gets injured and I’m a mess for days. Case in point: the new Dumbo movie is coming out… I sobbed… at the TRAILER! One glance at Dumbo dressed like a clown and being mocked by the circus crowd… Ugh, I can’t even talk about it anymore. 

I have been finding myself presented with this idea a lot lately: how in the world can I say I am an animal lover and also consume them? To take it a step further, I would never eat a dog EVER, why do I think a pig is any different? Or a cow? Or even a chicken or a fish (gasp)? 

Family Values

Much of the way I eat is reflective of how I grew up. Meat, cheese, butter, and milk were staples; I’m Italian for crying out loud, isn’t that a birth right? My husband makes the same retort; he is Ugandan, therefore it is his right to eat chicken and pork. But just because this is the way our parent’s eat, and our communities eat, does that mean it’s right? 

The New Canadian Food Guide

Canada recently rolled out the new Canadian food guide and there are significant changes from what I remember as a child. The biggest changes being the removal of emphasis on meat and dairy, and the focus on eating a plant based diet.

dims

Apart from the animal cruelty involved in the meat and dairy industry (which is indeed a big deal), there is also the matter of the damage these industries have on our environment. Here are just a few statistics from http://www.onegreenplanet.org:

  • Raising animals for food (including land used for grazing and land used to grow feed crops) now uses a staggering 30% of the Earth’s land mass. (Livestock’s Long Shadow: Environmental Issues and Options, a 2006 report published by the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization)
  • The massive amounts of excrement produced by livestock farms emit toxic gases such as hydrogen sulfide and ammonia into the air. Roughly 80% of ammonia emissions in the U.S. come from animal waste (The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency).
  • Animal agriculture is responsible for 18% of the total release of greenhouse gases world-wide (this is more than all the cars, trucks, planes, and ships in the world combined)  (Livestock’s Long Shadow: Environmental Issues and Options, a 2006 report published by the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization)

For the past few months I had been trying to transition my diet to “plant-based.” I was doing pretty well until December… and then I fell off the wagon… hard. Like, sausage and egg McMuffin hard. Now for the month of February I am going the cold-turkey route (so to speak that is) and am going to live that sweet Vegan life. My hope is that it sticks for good. 

My rules for February are few but mighty! 

  1. Eat zero animal products (I am not including yeast, or “bee” products)

Education: 

  1. Learn from a real life Vegan
  2. Watch: Food Inc., What the Health… Any other suggestions? 

9 Ways to Reduce Household Waste

The Ashley Rhapsody1 Comment

I used to think that my menial effort to recycle, and the fact I would never throw garbage out of my car window made me a real tree hugger. I have discovered over this month of January I have a lot of work to do to live more kindly towards the environment. I am by no means an expert now, but here are a few quick changes I have made this month to reduce my ecological footprint.

  1. Be Mindful: This month has been all about self-discovery. My biggest discovery is I am the most wasteful when I am mindlessly going about a task or when I am rushing to complete a task. When I am frantically picking up groceries, or rushing to clean my kitchen, or simply zoning out in the shower I wasted resources, and curiously enough often wasted more time. My best piece of advice for becoming less wasteful is be mindful in your day to day, mundane tasks. 
  2. Shampoo Bars changed my life: 02008Fun fact, I HATE washing my hair. I don’t know why it feels like such a chore but it does. However, I recently discovered something that flipped the script for me (do the kids still say that?). SHAMPOO BARS! I started buying shampoo bars from Lush Cosmetics. I love it for several reasons: they leave my hair shiny and smooth, shorter shower time because I only need to use shampoo no conditioner (which I use to think was sacrilegious but now I’m all about it), it’s vegan, it’s completely waste free, it lasts forever, and it smells like heaven! The secret is to also buy the little metal containers that Lush sells and it helps it last for a long time. Here’s the link to the one I use.
    https://www.lush.ca/en/hair/shampoo-bars/karma-komba/02008.html
  3. Showers: On that note, being more mindful about showers has also been a game changer for me, but I have REALLY had to adjust my mindset about it. I forced myself to remember back to when I lived in Uganda. I remembered that I would NEVER dream of having a 10 minute long cold shower. My showers were 3-4 minutes MAX! With that in mind I had the idea that maybe I should change the temperature of my Canadian showers (not freezing but a little cooler than usual) in an attempt to speed myself up… and it worked. I admit I still have a smokin’ hot shower once a week, but my average shower has become a lot less wasteful. If you’re not convinced, here’s a great article about the benefits of shorter, cooler showers. https://www.bustle.com/articles/152226-how-long-should-you-shower-it-takes-less-time-than-you-think-to-get-clean 
  4. Compost those organics: img_1114After visiting the Surrey Biofuel Plant, I feel so much more empowered to compost my organics. To know that my city has a resource like the Surrey Biofuel Plant and to not utilize it, seems like a waste in itself. But even if you don’t live in the township of Surrey, composting those organics does wonders for the environment. A little trick I learned from a friend of mine is to keep a paper bag in the freezer and put organics in there; reduces the smell in the house, and it’s easy to transfer into the big green bin!
  5. Say “see ya” to those plastic bags: 71p51l7qwdl._sl1500_When I first thought about plastic bags, I thought grocery bags, and then stopped there. The fact of the matter is, we use a TON of plastic bags for so many things. Produce, snacks, clothing shopping etc. A great purchase I made recently was reusable produce bags. They are small enough I can keep them in my purse, I can wash them easily, they save on a lot of plastic, and they’re strong enough not to break like the cheap plastic ones when I’m buying sweet potatoes. Getting in the habit of using them is the hardest part, but once you have, you’ll never go back!  https://www.amazon.ca/Yomitek-Reusable-Washable-Drawstrings-Shopping/dp/B07G2117CJ?keywords=reusable+produce+bags&qid=1547660847&sr=8-1-spons&ref=sr_1_1_sspa&psc=1
  6. The Paper Towel Revolt: A simple change I made to cut down some of our waste was to use cloth rags instead of paper towels. When I was sick this month, I even took it one step further and used a handkerchief instead of Kleenex. I thought the whole idea was disgusting honestly, but my husband pointed out to me how much toilet paper I wasted blowing my nose (and he even got me a nice new hanky) so I had no excuse. 
  7. Learn how to Recycle: This goes along with becoming more mindful. Knowing how and where to recycle makes a big difference for the environment and my household. Here’s a great site for BC residents to help navigate recycling more efficiently: https://www.recyclebc.ca/what-can-i-recycle/   
  8. Ladies Only: A game changer for my time of the month has been Thinx Underwear (or as I affectionately refer to them as: period panties). I use them at the very beginning and the very end of my period when it’s the lightest, and then swap over to tampons when it’s heavier. They are super comfy, and I’m amazed at how clean I feel. They have helped cut down my tampon/liner usage significantly. Next step is to build up my confidence and try the Diva cup; I’ve heard really good things (money saver, kind on the body, kind to the environment, etc.). 
  9. Cut down the Take-Away: My husband and I are pretty good at making home cooked meals, but now that our schedules are reversed I am definitely guilty of leaning towards eating out instead of cooking something just for myself. “It’s only me! Why would I make a big meal! That’s wasteful. This is waste-free January. Sushi here I come!” The obvious problem with this is (other than the waste of money) most “eating out” requires a great deal of packaging. Meal plan, and skip the take-away.

january- pin- waste

Monday Moment of Joy: Netflix

The Ashley RhapsodyLeave a comment

Working at a high school is great for lots of reasons… lots of respectable, admirable reasons. One reason I love working at a school (probably not the most respectable, and admirable of them) is my true love for Summer Vacation. I get almost two full months that I can spend in any way I choose. Sometimes I spend that time in useful, life-giving ways, like hiking, volunteering, or learning a new skill. Other times I spend it in my romper, on the couch, with treats, binge watching Netflix. 

Sure, I could do more useful things. 

I could do a lot of things. 

So could you. 

But regardless, here we are.  

So as a salute to the fast approaching summer vacation, and the terrific ways I waste time, here are some of my favourite Netflix series (when I’m not just watching re-runs of The Office).

Jane the Virgin

“The life of a pious, hardworking Latina woman is turned upside down when a doctor visit reveals she was artificially inseminated by accident.”

This Telenovela themed show is addictive! I don’t know that I want to admit how quickly I worked my way through this series. I. just. couldn’t. stop. Every episode begins with reminding you of what “chapter” of the story you’re in. It was somewhere around chapter 72 that I realized, “I have watched 72 HOURS of this show.” And then I hit, continue. In my eagerness I finished this last season without realizing that it was the season finale, and now I’m emotionally distraught until it begins again #teamrafael 

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt 

“Imprisoned by a cult leader as a teenager, Midwesterner Kimmy is freed after 15 years. The first thing she decides to do is move to New York.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNKEKlXY3Z4

If you like Tina Fey, a black man too gay to be cast in “The Lion King” musical, and poking fun at religious cults, THIS is your show. I’m going to leave it at that. 

 

Imposters

“Ezra Bloom gets an unwelcome wake-up call when he discovers his beloved wife, Eva, is really a marital con artist who has fleeced him and fled town.” 

This one is husband approved. I love shows where there is a good con underway (which is why I am committed to the Oceans franchise). 

The Five

“A woman’s murder at a hotel leads detective Danny to discover a shocking DNA match to blood at the scene. A traumatized girl is found on the streets.” 

After binge watching Broadchurch, Giddy and I were on the hunt for another show to fill the void. The Five was a great fix. 

Alright, now it’s your turn! I need some new shows… what should I watch? 

How to Keep your Husband Alive

The Ashley Rhapsody12 Comments

When I got married to my husband, Giddy, I had a lot of people volunteer relationship advice:

  • Never let the sun go down on your anger
  • Men want sex all the time; prepare yourself
  • Your first year of marriage is going to be hard 
  • Never say “you always,” or “you never” 

And then, of course, I got a ton of unsolicited advice about when, where, and how we were to have children. 

But of all the advice I received, no one warned me of what would be the greatest challenge my marriage would face. 

The dreaded question: “What are we going to eat for dinner?” 

I knew before we got married that Giddy had a very specific list of foods he would not eat:

  • Shepherd’s Pie 
  • Lasagna 
  • Sandwiches 
  • Soup
  • Pirogies
  • Macaroni and Cheese

In my mind that left me with: 

  • Chicken
  • Rice 
  • Potatoes
  • Left-over chicken, rice, and potatoes 

At first I thought he had merely had bad experiences with these foods but surely he would like my versions of them. 

Giddy would sit quietly at the dinner table looking at me as I devoured my handcrafted sandwich. 

Me: “What?”

G: “I don’t eat sandwiches”

Me: “But you haven’t tried THIS sandwich” 

G: “I don’t eat sandwiches” 

Me: “Why don’t you just try it before you decide it’s not for you.” 

G: “I have tried sandwiches. I don’t like them. I don’t need to try yours.” 

This would throw me into a fit of rage. 

Then I decided I would try to be tricky and rename the foods on the fated list in an attempt to broaden his pallet. This had a 50% success rate.

G: “What is this?”

Me: “Baked Pasta”

G: “It looks a lot like Lasagna.”

Me: “No, it’s baked pasta.” 

*Insert Gideon giving me a dubious look* 

My adventures and misfortunes of attempting to find foods my husband would eat only began to expand his “do not serve list”:

  • Lettuce Wraps
  • Anything with a cream sauce
  • Tacos 
  • Anything that combines chocolate and peanut butter (fine on their own but combined? Atrocious!)

I floated between being infuriated that Giddy wasn’t eating all of my cooking creations, to being panicked that I was going to unintentionally starve my husband within the first year of marriage. I could hear the voices of my critics/advice givers now, “The man could survive living in Uganda during the civil war, but his wife’s food killed him.” 

Well, isn’t that interesting

Almost immediately upon Gideon’s arrival to Canada, we were invited over to friend’s houses for dinner so they could meet Giddy. Friend’s would ask, “Does Giddy have any allergies?” The truthful answer is no, no he doesn’t have anything that physically keeps him from eating certain foods. “But should I mention Giddy’s list of aversions?” I’d think to myself. No, I determined that would be rude, and I could risk the purchase of McDonald’s on the way home to keep Giddy’s BMI up and keep down my wife-guilt about starving my husband. 

But then something interesting would happen. 

He would go to other people’s houses and eat every, dang, thing. He would even make proclamations across the dinner table like, “Ashley, why haven’t you ever made this for me?” 

OH, you mean this cream-based soup and grilled cheese sandwiches? Because it causes us to doubt the validity of our marriage, that’s why. 

And this was not a show for my friends, he would genuinely request these recipes after the fact. 

99 Problems But Food Ain’t One

I am happy to report after four years of marriage, our food saga has (mostly) ended. My husband is not malnourished, and I do not have an anxiety disorder over what to pack for lunch. I have at least 10 recipes I can throw into rotation (though many of those recipes are just chicken and rice cooked in a variety of ways) and Giddy even cooks a great deal of our meals. Self-high-five! 

Marriage Advice

Four years of marriage does not feel like enough time to become one of those people who hands out relationship advice. With that said, this was the only piece of advice I didn’t get when Giddy and I got married, and it would have been really helpful. 

So get ready for some unsolicited marriage advice:

Spend your pre-wedding date nights strolling the isles of Chapters Indigo in the cookbook isle, and scrolling through Pinterest. Have your significant other identify recipes that look appetizing; use force if necessary. 

If at any point your significant other mentions their mother, abort all plans, register for gift cards to major food chains, and call it a day. 

Now go in peace. 

Are you pregnant?

The Ashley Rhapsody5 Comments

I am not pregnant.

Just in case you were wondering.

I thought I would let you know because I am asked… often.

How often?

Modestly: once a week.

Let me repeat: I am not pregnant.

I know I am a married woman, of a childbearing age, but I do not feel these facts should give people carte blanche to look me up and down and ask me intimate questions about my reproductive health.

In my opinion, there is never a good time to ask a woman if she’s pregnant.

I do not care if the woman looks 10 months pregnant, and is waddling so hard it looks like she is crowning, I will NOT ask about her ripe pregnant belly until SHE mentions she is currently “with child.”

Until that time, I will carry on talking about the weather, and the latest episode of Broadchurch.

I have had a few stand-out instances when I was asked if I was pregnant.

Incident #1: I was registering children in for a church event. I was standing next to my very petite, very pregnant friend. She’s one of those gals who is “all baby” and looks like she’s got a basketball shoved up her shirt with every pregnancy. She looked adorable (and pregnant—not that I would have said anything to her if I was a stranger). I remember I was feeling particularly cute because I was wearing this flowy bohemian shirt. Flowy… not, basketball under my shirt. A father approaches our table; he looks my friend up and down, he looks me up and down, and then looks at ME and says, “How far long are you?”

I went home, burned my shirt, and cried.

Incident #2: I was dismissing my students from class on the last day before summer break. One of the mom’s came over to bid me farewell. As we stood chatting, she stopped mid-sentence, looked me up and down, zoned in on my stomach and said (in a whispered voice): “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

If you have to whisper it, you shouldn’t say it…

In my experience, when my friends are pregnant they are usually pretty excited to tell people about it. In fact, in many cases, it’s hard to get them to shut up about it. Which is wonderful, and should be expected.

However, if one of my friends does not immediately announce their pregnancy I am assuming there is a reason.

Jokes aside, pregnancy can be a really touchy subject.

Some people struggle for years to get pregnant.

Some people get pregnant but have suffered several miscarriages.

Some people (believe it or not) do not actually want kids.

I do want to have kids eventually. When I get asked if I am pregnant I take offence not because I do not want kids or because I have struggled with infertility but because it feels like I am being subtly told, “You look fat in that outfit.” In reality, I could have worse things said to me but I can not help but think about my friends who are actually struggling in this area.

So, in an effort to change the world, here is an exhaustive list to help you know when is a good time to ask a woman if she is pregnant:

  • She recently got married and should be pregnant by now.
  • She has a glow.
  • She is wearing flowy clothing.
  • You are related and feel you have the right to know.
  • She is starting to “show.”
  • She is really “showing.”
  • Her stomach is so huge she has to be pregnant.
  • She is rubbing her belly in a nurturing fashion.
  • You are so curious you can’t stand it anymore.
  • Her water broke. (At this point I would encourage the person to seek medical attention for their incontinence, not letting on any suspicions)
  • She is holding a baby in her arms… to which an appropriate response would be: “You were pregnant? I could not tell due to how thin you’ve looked over the past several months. Congratulations!”

Now go in peace.

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Dear Meghan Trainor

The Ashley Rhapsody15 Comments

Dear Meghan Trainor,

We, you and me, are all right. Go ahead; take a deep sigh of relief.

I read a blog the other day, crediting you to a lot of things I don’t believe you’re responsible for (Taylor was right, haters are going to hate). In lieu of this, I thought you’d be happy to know, I have got your back (figuratively).

I am not offended by your music, or to be more specific, your lyricism. I don’t think you sat down with a guitar, or a piano, or a xylophone one day and thought, “I hate skinny people, someone needs to put them in their place. Also, my butt looks great today. I should write a song with these reoccurring lyrical themes running through it.”

Don’t worry though Meg, (can I call you Meg?) I have compiled for you a selection of reasons why I think people need to chill out.

First off, I think the people who are having such a hard time with you, are taking you and your music way too seriously. Not to say your music has not had a lot of thought put into it, but let’s be real; it’s not a piece of government legislation… you are writing pop songs.

I understand the powerful affect music can have on an individual, but I didn’t go screaming for the hills when Destiny’s Child released “Bootylicious.” I didn’t think, “Oh no! Beyonce said that I wasn’t ready for their jelly, but it seems as if they’re providing me with their jelly regardless. I’m not ready! Your body is just too Bootylicious for me.”

I have never sought out abuse from a man because Britney Spears seemed to be so hell bent on being hit one more time.

I have not kissed a girl, because even though Katy Perry seemed to enjoy it, I don’t feel like I would.

You know why? Because I don’t live my life by these songs (if I did I’d be living out some strange montage of the Backstreet Boys Greatest hits)!

All music has a message; some are messages of love, some of hatred, some have deep political messages, and there are some that are meant to be tongue-in-cheek. I feel like “All About That Bass” is meant as the latter.

Secondly, I think the concept of a “self-image role model” is a bit of a joke.

Do you have great self-image?

Yes? Awesome.

No? That’s too bad for you.

It doesn’t help or hinder me.

Thankfully (or sometimes regretfully), my self-image is really only controlled by me. Which means, that if I don’t like hearing about your love for fine booty because it makes me doubt the quality of my own, that’s my issue, not yours.

Third and lastly, I feel like you’re getting way too much credit.

Here is a list of songs which seem to possess preferential treatment towards big butts:

  • Sir Mix-a-lot’s “Baby Got Back”
    • “My Anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got buns hun.”
  • Snoop Dog and Jason Derulo’s “Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle”
    • “You know what to do with that big fat butt… wiggle, wiggle, wiggle”
  • Jenifer Lopez and Iggy’s “Booty”
    • “Mesmerized by the size of the, You can find it if you like take your time, I can guarantee you’ll have the time of your life, Throw up your hands if you love a big booty” (Poetry, I know)
  • Black Eyed Pea’s “My Humps”
    • “Whatcha gonna do with all that junk? All that junk inside that trunk? I’m gonna get get get you drunk; get you love drunk off this hump.”

There are many more. I am not kidding. Google, “Songs about booty.” You’re sure to find a myriad of musical gems.

I say all this not to trash musicians who were previously inspired by a woman’s posterior, and of course, not to diminish your contribution to this classic collection. I am merely pointing out that, “All About that Bass,” does not contain revolutionary content. The booty has been sung about for years, and in significantly more derogatory ways.

Do I love the “skinny bitches” line in your song? No, not particularly.

Do I love the way any sized woman is acknowledged in most pop, rap, country, or rock music ever through out history? No, not particularly.

You know M (can I call you M?); I think the world needs to cop a balance. There is not one ideal body type for women. Bottom line (no pun intended), if you are a woman, and you have a body, that’s ideal. We should appreciate our bodies, take care of them, and value them for what they are: a container for much more important things.

You are a fun, young woman, who wrote a catchy song about enjoying your body, to which makes curvy girls everywhere wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, and that’s okay.

Your shoulders don’t need to carry the weight of all the women who have body issues.

Women People need to stop blaming music, television, movies, and video games for the world’s problems, and get working on their own problems.

No one person is to blame, not even you Meghan Trainor.

Yours truly,

Ashley